Out There: Reflections

It’s hard to put yourself out there.

In 2011, I returned from a 10-month stint as an expat living in the Netherlands. During my time abroad, I kept a blog, chronicling both daily life and trips across Europe. Although my audience was small, the experience was rewarding. Writing satisfied a craving I had for creative expression. Writing for a specific audience felt more meaningful than merely journaling. And yet, when I arrived back in the States, I stepped away from the endeavor, never quite finding the justification I needed to begin a new project.

I started a PhD program. Soon enough, writing dominated my time. I wrote research papers and literary analyses. I fell in love with the research and found the process of discovery and synthesis satisfying. And yet, this type of writing did not satisfy my craving for creativity. I considered starting a blog again, but I wasn’t able to justify spending the time away from my academic writing—the writing I believed would become my career.

As I concentrated on ways to fit my writing into existing containers rather than creating spaces for my writing, the repression of creativity took its toll. The stories I wanted to tell and the observations I wanted to make pressed on me, like an overdue baby waiting for her entrance into the world.

In the last year, a year of so much reflection and change, I have sat down multiple times to start a blog. I’ve typed parts of personal narratives, of political reflections, of responses to widely circulating inaccurate information. I’ve shared some of these in short snippets on social media. Others have remained unfinished, partially formed thoughts.

I’ve waited for the perfect blog title or the perfect idea on which to center my writing. I’ve considered focusing the blog on Shakespeare, on the news, or on memes. But the more I consider each of these ideas, the more they seem like gimmicks.

But I'm done waiting, and I'm ready to put myself out there. I plan to use this blog to stretch my writing muscles, to explore different ideas, and to share my voice. If you’d like to follow along on this journey, I’d love to have you.