My Top Tip for Succeeding in College

Since moving from working in the college to the high school environment, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wish students knew before heading to college. This is the first of a series called “Succeeding in College.”

When students ask what they can do to be successful in college, I have a lot of answers. However, the one piece of advice I keep returning to is to be willing to ask for help.

Imagine the following:

It’s your first year of college. Perhaps you’ve always known this is where you’d end up. Perhaps you were less sure. Regardless, you feel like you have something to prove.

You study the map of campus and leave your dorm room 45 minutes before class to ensure you make it into your seat on time even if you get lost. As you walk past tall and unfamiliar buildings, you widely skirt the Student Services booth offering coffee and directions. You try to project confidence, but inside you are a ball of anxiety. You arrive early and double-check that you are in the right place.

As you wait for class, you decide to use the restroom. You see someone pass by that looks like they know where they are going. You look away. You walk the full length of the hall. There are no restrooms on this level. You do the same with the next level and finally find the restroom tucked in a corner through two separate sets of double-doors.

Finally, you get to class. There are two other students in the room so far. Despite already checking the room number a few times, you wonder if you are in the right place. But you don’t want to ask the other students. They might assume you don’t know what you’re doing. Another student walks in, “English 1310 with Cephus?” The other students nod. You breathe a sigh of relief.

Soon the professor walks in. She smiles as she introduces herself, but you zone out, worried about your next class. Soon the rest of the students are standing up and separating themselves into two corners of the room. “What are we doing?” you ask yourself but remain silent. You don’t want anyone to think you don’t belong. You try to figure out the activity as you go along. Someone has taken on the role of a group leader and is asking questions. “What sport did you play in high school?” “Um, none,” you reply. “Then why did you choose this group?” You blush. “I guess I misheard the instructions.” You finally realize this is an icebreaker game and you move to the another group.

Next the teacher assigns the first project, a stepping stone to a podcast project you will finish by the end of the semester. “Don’t worry,” she says, “We’ll talk about this a lot more over the next few weeks.” But you don’t understand. How do you pick a topic if you’re not sure what the end-goal is. In high school, your teacher had a specific, sometimes unspoken, thing they were expecting. Is this the same? Is the assignment really as open-ended as it seems?

A few weeks into the semester, your class heads to the library for a research session. The librarian asks, “What are you all researching?” You avoid eye contact. You still haven’t made a decision, and you don’t want to show weakness. You sigh with relief when she calls on someone else. At the end of class, she offers to help students with topics and research and passes out her card. You put it in your backpack, but you never reach out. You don’t want to bother her.

Several weeks later, you’ve started your project, but you have so many questions. Do you have to use the software suggested in class? Because, it doesn’t work with your personal computer. What if you don’t have a phone to record the required interviews? Is it okay to interject your own opinion into the podcast? What if the person you are supposed to be interviewing backs out? How do you pick what to cut and what to save? Is it okay if you call the interviewee by their first name? The questions circle through your mind but remain trapped inside. You push off the project, not knowing how to begin and afraid you will make a mistake.

The next week, the professor cancels class in favor of mandatory one-on-one conferences. You are terrified of showing up having not turned in anything, but you also can’t risk the additional deduction on your grade from the extra absences you will incur without you attending. You nervously walk into the office door and take a seat in the rolling chair next to your professor’s desk. “I see you haven’t submitted a draft yet," your professor notes. You cringe. You finally have to admit it. “I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

***

The person in the above story is an amalgamation of all the strong, bright, and completely overwhelmed students I’ve met during my time in higher education. And, I’ve been there as well. We’ve been fed the lie that asking for help is weakness.

However, in my experience as a professor, a student’s ability to ask for help is a top predictor of success. I don’t mean that students should never try to figure out something on their own. As a professor, I often redirected student questions to encourage independent thinking. However, students need to realize that asking questions is not weakness.

When students ask for help—sometimes even when they suspect they already know the answer—they end up feeling more confident and willing to contribute in the future. Instead of focusing on the unknowns, students can focus on connecting with others, developing ideas, and completing projects.

Here are just a few opportunities to ask for help in the college environment:

• When you are uncertain about instructions

• When you don’t understand a concept

• When you aren’t sure how your professor calculated your grade

• When you don’t know why one answer was right and another wrong

• When you aren’t sure how to word something

• When you need mental health support

• When you are homesick

• When you are confused about your bill

• When you have run out of Easy Mac and you need a ride to the grocery store

• When you get lost on campus or don't know where a specific building is located

• When you are not sure how to use a piece of equipment in the campus gym

• When you want to go camping and don’t know how to check out equipment from Recreation Services

• When you are buying lunch for the first time in the cafeteria

• When the choices in the cafeteria don’t fit your dietary needs

• When you need to practice for your music lesson but aren’t sure which areas of a building are available for student use

You can ask for help from:

• Your professor (during class or during office hours)

• Your friends

• Classmates

• Other students on campus

• Tutors

• Student Services

• Counseling Services

• The Financial Aid Office

• Librarians

• The Writing Center

Ask even when you feel like you are burdening someone. Ask even if you feel like you’ve asked too many questions. Ask again or ask someone else if you didn’t get a clear answer the first time.

When you ask questions, you are not being a burden. You are not showing weakness. You are not demonstrating you don’t belong. Rather, you are practicing self-advocacy. You are getting clarification. You are taking advantage of resources that you have already paid for in student fees. You are helping members of the community feel purpose. You are making connections. You are ensuring your own success.